HEY, IT'S MS. LONELY!

I'm feeling different. And it's getting worse each day. Maybe I feel sad. I know why, but I'm not sure of it. I'm feeling lonely. Am I really loosing people around me? I'm not feeling anyone beside me. Maybe I'm really pushing them away.

It's semester break in two days, I'm excited. I'm planning to have all the fun I could. But holding back, yes I'm having fun, but with whom? I remember, I don't have friends. Maybe I do have some. That's what I thought before. But aghhh, they're hurting me. Are friends really meant to make you feel bad? I know I'm not perfect. I'm stupid most of the time so who am I to say, but I can't help complaining. What they're doing isn't the idea of friendship that I had in mind. Or am I just being self-centered?

I have issues in life that I can't fight. I'm afraid of people. Yes. Oh, not literally but I'm afraid of letting people come in to my life in a way that... ughhhh, I don't know either. But the "rejection" thing is alway a reason to be afraid of. I know I'm not a friendly person. It's so clear. And you cannot blame me if you ask why.

I have stories in life that I can't easily let go. Most of them are sad stories. It's how people pushed me away. It's how people hate me. I grew up in a place where most of everyone doesn't know the word "respect". They don't appreciate and accept the way I am and the things I do. I didn't do anything wrong to them for sure. So I'm clueless why they are like that. Maybe it's in the way I look. My physical appearance have always been an issue to others. So is that the reason? Nah.... Maybe I'm just meant to be a loner!

Because of those people, I lost my self confidence. Yes, I'm blaming them for that. I can't open myself for everyone to see and understand because I'm used to be rejected everytime I try. So what now? I've become the "Supladita't Isnabera" in the block. I learned not to kiss anyone's ass no matter what. I loved my pride so much along the way.

Now in my years of living, you wouldn't believe but I never really had a true bestfriend. So here comes these people I call real friends. I was so, so thankful cause having people like them for me is so rare. I'm handling them in the way that I know. But as I realized, they're not making me feel the way that I thought it should be. They're not making me feel the way that I'm making them feel. Well, there's this one. He's so true and loyal. But he's still different above the others so it's way more complicated I think. And since I'm playing the role of Ms. Stupid here, for sure I'll loose him too, very soon.

I don't know how to work these things out. I'm nothing but a mess. So yeah, I'm clueless and soon will be going crazy. Anyways, maybe things just happen as the way they should. I'm not sure If I can accept the way they are about to be but if I'm really meant to be alone in life then so be it. Nah, I don't know.

IT'S THE PLAIN ME...

IT'S ME AND MY NAME...

I'm Mia Isabelle Yuzon. My dad named me after ManiLa InternationaL Airport. errr.. I was born the day before Ninoy Aquino's anniversary of death at M.I.A. so dat's why. I hate it, but yeah, at Least it didn't become "NAIA". Sounds worse.. LoL.

Most of the peopLe caLL me Mia. here in the house, people call me either Miatot or Miaw (Miaw was originated by my dad). Friends call me Mia, and they call me Miatot too. If they're in the mood for tripping, sure they'll call me "Cultz". Don't ask why. I wouLdn't bother sharing. Some of my titas call me "iya". Most of my teachers/professors would call me Isabelle. errr.



MY YEARS OF LIVING in boredom???...

Im 19 y/o. I aLways feel sad thinkin' that soon I'll turn twenty. Wish I'm a teenager forever. Im scared of getting oLd! Not of the physicaL appearance, but of the challenges that couLd come. I'd have to say that though we weren't that weaLthy, i was spoiled, so in my future, I don't know if that would help. Yikes!

I spent 19 years of my life living only here in Manila. I rarely go out ever since computer was brought in this house. And in my past 3years, I wasn't able to go farther than metro maniLa. Hell yeah, d'you just realize how boring my life is? I think im so outdated now to the outside world so I promised to go wild 'n crazy again this coming semester break. LoL!



HOBBIES AND INTERESTS..

I'm an indoor person. im "lampayatot" and hate sports (oh, not reaLLy, but I'm not in to it). I enjoy doing...

VisuaL arts and design
I can paint, I can do sketches, but I'm not the best at it.

Cooking
Oooh well, I love eating. I have an unbelievable appetite for a normal girl and you wouldn't have an idea with my figure. So yeah, since i eat a lot, I know I should learn to cook for myself so learned to handle the kitchen at least.

Music
Yes I love music. But I can't call myself a music geek. I don't care of what genre I'm hearing. As long as it's cool, sure that'd be on my playlist. But I'm more attracted to female vocals. Well, I'm a female, so my behavior in listening to music is to look after songs that i can easily sing too. I don't have a particular "idoL" which I can call myself a die-hard fan for. But oh, I was once addicted to Juris of M.Y.M.P. and Lougee of Delara that's former Mojofly.

Writing
I don't usually write when I'm feeling happy. But on the bad times, writing is my best way of easing stress and pain. I have my journal notebook. But I get so busy these days so I can't fill it up like usual.



Shopping
Yes, i don't go out a lot. But shopping?? Oh come on, dare me. I would never say no!



MY TRAITS AND CHARACTERISTICS..

Phisically.... It's for you to find out. But don't base you're thoughts much on just looking by my photos. They can be deceiving you know. LoL.

I'm taLkative. heLL yeah and i find it hard to stop once i started. But not to strangers. How would you know if I feel comfy with a person or not? It's in the matter of how much I talk.

I don't drink, ever since i experienced being hella' drunk Last August 17, 2006. I was crazy as heLL, so nah'ah, never to do dat ever again. I don't smoke too. not cooL, but i wish to Learn at least. LoL.

im Loud and expressive of my ideas and opinions especially when I'm hurt or hate things. And I would normally have sleepless nights when I can't tell a person something that I have to.

Yes I'm talkative and loud. But I can be a good listener too! I can even be a diary. Secrets are safe here, I promise.

I'm mean. I can be the bestfriend but I can also be the worst enemy. It's not advisable to get me mad, really mad, cause I can be really, really crazy. I don't, as in I "don't" control my anger once it's in. And I rarely forgive and forget. Things are always listed inside here sweetie.

Love, Love, Love... im not showy at it. so baduy and corny!! errr. I have my own way of appreciating people and things and it's not the "pa'sweet" and "malambing" way.

I hate being dictated what to do when I actually know what I should. Hello? Like some said, "It's my world. People just live in it." And I don't live on other's world as well, meaning I don't kiss asses.



THE THINGS I'M CURRENTLY IN AND OTHERS..

I'm a B.A. student. But things are making me unsure of it right now (b*LL*hit, im starting to hate thesis reports!!). And "mathematics" is a one big hindrance for my studies and success! yes, i badLy hate numbers ever since. So i promised. If ever I become the country's president, I'd Leave the option to students whether to take that stupid subject or not! So just how cool is that? Vote for me! LoL.



IT'S ME AND THEM..

In meeting people, my first impressions don't usually last. Some that I thought are the cool ones ends to be the bad guys, and some that I thought are the monsters ends to be real people.

A person's humbleness is a very important matter that I look for. Shut those big air headed guys up! They're makin' me itchy and irritated. Those who know the word R.E.S.P.E.C.T. is what I need. And so here comes the "plastics". Yeah, just who doesn't hate them? Yes, people can't sometimes avoid being one, but gosh, I want something real.




* So that's the plain me and nothing else. I don't really care how people would accept me or if they can't. I just wanna' live my life the way I wanted and changes aren't in my plans just because people would tell me to do so. I'll change because I realized I have to.