IDK..

I've been on a commitment for 2 years and 5 months already. We're both serious about it. And him? He has his own stupidities just like everyone's, but ahhh, I gotta' tell you, he has the traits a girl could ever want for a man (but not perfectly all of it).

So what's the "idk" thing here? Hmm.. I think I'm not feeling the magic i felt as before. So I don't know. Have I fallen out of love? No, it's not that, i guess (ughh, I'm dead when he reads this) . But things just seems so different and I know he's feeling it. He's asking me what's wrong, but I can't come up for an answer coz I don't even know for myself what's wrong. I do miss him sometimes. But I'm realizing things. Maybe I can go on with out him, or what's it like when he's gone? - which is not healthy for a relationship to think of, i know. But I don't really want him to go. It's just that i'm finding and knowing myself more when he's not around. I'm not enjoying being alone, but I think i want some more time being alone. And, we've only been seeing each other regularly once a month. But I'm not changing. I thought a month we're apart will be helpful for my thinking. Should I tell him I need space? But that was a space aLready. He loves me, I'm sure of that. I'm unfair right?

It's crazy isn't it? I'm crazy. Am I keeping him hanging? Something's wrong with me, but that isn't the problem. I can't figure out what's wrong here. That's what it is i guess.